One Thing Left to Say
by Live with the Music
Summary: Just one more thing that needed to be conveyed before he could climb in his car, drive down the highway and never look back. "Goodbye."  Slight AU, little bit OOC but that's just because I don't watch all the episodes.


AN: Ok I swore off fanfiction for a while because reality decided to come knocking on my door and pull me back. But I recently became OBSESSED with Degrassi and Holly J and Declan. Now, whenever I fall in love with a couple I go to the place where I can find stories that expand on them. But to my disappointment, there were hardly any Hollan J fics. So I decided that I needed to at least post one.

If you normally read my stories, I know this is usually not my style but I decided to experiment with angst this time. I know it's not long but I still really like this oneshot. So please, read, hopefully enjoy, and review!

One Thing Left to Say

It was 552.99 kilometers from New York to Toronto. Try driving that distance twice in one day. But Declan Coyne didn't mind the drive. He spent one trip incandescently happy and the other devoid from emotion, his mind blank, leaving only enough thought to keep the car from crashing.

All his life, Declan did his best to stick to two personal mottos. Make at least one sarcastic or smug comment a day, and never, NEVER give yourself to anybody who wasn't family. Cause if you open your heart and let someone in, you make yourself completely helpless and one single word from them could break you. And that? Was heartbreak waiting to happen. But those days at Degrassi had made him reckless and in that one moment of forgetfulness he had changed his life, for the better. For a couple months, he was happy but he had always known that he wasn't going to stay happy forever, that one day, it would start hurting again. He just didn't expect that day to come so soon.

He swore that what happened with Sophie would never happen again. No more crying himself to sleep or staring blankly at a spot on the wall behind the locked door of his room, ignoring the pounding and shouts of his sister and parents, thinking that feeling nothing would have been better than feeling any love at all.

But history repeats itself. And here he was again, looking forward to sleepless nights, long silences and days where he would pick up the phone or log on to the computer just to remember that he didn't have a girlfriend to smile with anymore.

But let's rewind, pretend that life was just a movie you could play over and over again. Skipping to the happy parts and leaving out all the rest. Sure, the real world doesn't work that way, but fantasy does. And Declan was pretty sure that he would have to rely on fantasy to keep him sane for the next couple of months.

There are times in everyone's life when they're so happy they feel like they're going to burst to the brim and spill over. When they are so full of joy they have to spread it to the world. When they can't wipe that ridiculous goofy grin off they're faces even if they look like total idiots. When they're in love.

Now Declan had only felt that way a total of two times in his 18 years of life. Once, when he saw his girlfriend Sophie run towards him from the other side of the football field, her long blond hair billowing behind her and a smile on her face so wide that he couldn't help but smile himself. It was then that he told her he loved her, and it was then that she broke his heart.

Declan was beginning to think that these moments signified heartbreak because the next time he felt it was a few years later. Driving down the seemingly endless highway, his thoughts focused on his girlfriend, her red straight hair, her deep green eyes, that way she had of making him laugh endlessly. It was supposed to be surprise. Their relationship had been rocky for a while and ditching school just to see her was the best way he could think of to show that he loved her. So, with nothing but a can of Dr. Pepper and his cell phone in the driver's seat, he set off to make the long journey…home.

But as it turns out, fate decided to reverse things and he was the one with a surprise in store. Not one of those happy surprises, when you walk into the house on your birthday and everything's pitch black and just when you're about to hit the light switch, every single most important person in your life jumps out at you, smiling, screaming "surprise!" No, it was not one of those. It was the kind of surprise when everything in the world stops, and you're focused on nothing but seeing your girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, laughing in the arms of one Sav Bhandari. When you see the look on her face and it hurts so much because that was the way she used to look at you. The adoration and the love. It was the sort of surprise that makes your heart go cold, the smile you had intended for her die on your face and a chill run up your spine.

And just when you think things could not get any worse, she looks up and your eyes meet. The fear and guilt in her eyes says everything that words could not, loud and clear. He tilts his head, it's a simple gesture but they both know the meaning behind it. "If he makes you happy, if you must" And just like that, he lets her go. Not because he doesn't love her, because he does, with all his heart. But because it's her choice, it's her life. And if she wants, then he'll bow out gracefully.

So there he was, making a long drive back to New York, with no memories from his trip, excepting a broken heart. When he arrives at home he throws himself on the expensive looking sofa in their living room. Staring up at the ceiling he recounts the perfect moments they had together.

He spends 3 weeks in this love induced coma like state. Ignoring the wishes of his friends, teachers and family. No one knows what's wrong, but he finds he likes it better that way, without anyone to comfort him. 3 weeks without any interaction from anyone else, until the text comes.

It's short, simple and to the point. No pleasantries or friendliness. Just there, in plain black font. He's lying on the floor when he gets it. The buzzing from his pants pocket telling him that someone in the world still wants to talk to him. He thinks about ignoring it but decides that he's been ignoring everything long enough.

_"We need to talk. I want to talk. Meet you halfway at the gas station?"_

He remembers that gas station too well. One of his favourite memories as he relives their time together. It was the first time she came to New York. Driving back, he was out of gas so naturally the stopped at the first place they could find. He intended to only spend a few minutes there, filling up and paying. They ended up wasting two hours of their life making out in a field out back. Pretending there was no one outside, no one to lecture them, that they were the only two people in the world.

Though he doesn't want to go, he knows that if he doesn't, he'll spend the rest of his life regretting it. He sees her even when he's miles away. Standing there with her arms crossed, that nervous expression on her face.

Slamming the door of his car shut, he walks up to her. No words are exchanged as they stare deep into each other's eyes, wondering. "I saw you that night at the Dot." she begins slowly. "You drove all the way just to see me?" her tone is careful, cautious.

"I loved you, you know." They both wince as the past tense hits them.

"I broke up with Sav."

"It's not that easy Holly J."

"I wish it were."

He opens his mouth to tell her that wishes didn't come true. But something stops him. He wished for her right? He wished to fit in at Degrassi. He wished for a girl so perfect that every time he saw her his heart would fill with joy and love. And he got that. So maybe wishes just didn't last forever. But he doesn't tell her any of that. In fact there's nothing else _to_ tell her. Nothing else they need to say. Just one more thing that needed to be conveyed before he could climb in his car, drive down the highway and never look back.

"Goodbye."

AN: And I only have one thing left to say, REVIEW!


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